That most cruel time

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That time when you are in a better position than others, yet your position itself is too bad, is the most cruel of times. Kavitha is no more. Kavitha, Akhila and I are of same age group. We have played together, concerned about each other, close to each other, had healthy competition between each other in studies, very involved in each others' lives, discussed many things together and so on.

When we lost Vidhya akka, I was a child. I had not seen her much. It was bad, but not this much worse.

I have no idea how Srikanth & family is going to handle this loss. They have a 40+ days old baby. That baby is now motherless.

In the impulse, I still feel, if there is a way I could marry a girl willing to adopt a baby and Srikanth's family permitting (I do realize how much important this baby Jagath is to their family), I would like to bring up the baby. I am such a coward to speak about this. Also it's too early to take that topic.

My prayers to Kishore anna & family, Jaya athai & family and Srikanth & family. May God be with them and help them come out of their grief.

I am feeling very philosophical. "You are the one seeing, you are the object seen, you are the universe. Why worry? You decided to be Balaji and grieve, you decided to be Kavitha and suffer and die, you decided to be the mortuary van, you decided to be Srikanth to lose your wife, you chose to be Jaya & Sundaramurthy to lose your daughter, and so on. You can't do much other than to do your duty and leave the result to God. Do what is right. Leave the results, good or bad to HIM. Let HIM enjoy or grieve. Let's just keep doing our work."

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